Tongan Time

I arrived in the Kingdom of Tonga this morning.  I will be here for two weeks.  My plan is to take a ferry to one of the outer islands tomorrow, maybe the Vava'u group.  I am on a extreme budget so my last week I maybe held up in the hostel.  Its hot and muggy here, with internment rain showers.  I did bring my dive gear, so I defiantly want to get some diving in.  Hope everyone is enjoying winter back home, my shirt is very vicid on my sweaty back.

Let's go for a smoke

I have been working at the Onetangi Shell service station for several months. We sell cigarettes behind the counter and I have to know all of the brands the customers want. I have never smoked in my life and never want to. Many customers ask me what cigarette or loose tobacco they should choose and I cannot give them a fair answer, knowing that I must make a sale to support my wages. Many people want to know what the difference between Paul Mall Baseline and Pall Mall Regular. “Which is better the Red, Blue or Green package?” “Benson and Hedges and Dunhill are the same price. What is the better one?” What are you cheapest tailies?”These are some of the questions posted to me about the quality of tobacco. (Tailies are slang for pre-made cigarettes, not loose tobacco, another popular option.) Maybe Shell could buy a pack of cigarettes for the staff to try to taste test. After all an informed salesperson is a good salesperson. I have tried almost every type of candy in the store, why not branch into smokes?? Many of the regulars expect me to know exactly what pack they like, and get easily offended if I get the wrong pack like Holiday Reds instead of Horizon Reds.

This is what I have learned about tobacco: The Red packages are the regular of stronger flavor. The blue packages are mild and the green packages are menthol. The packs come in 20s 25s and 30s. There is also loose tobacco available with papers and filters separate. The cheapest package is John Player Special, or JPS. The cost is NZ$14.10, yes over $14 for a pack of smokes. I get many inquires about these late in the evening when many cantankerous figures visit the store. (There is also a liquor store next door, but that’s another blog post) Next up is Paul Mall Baseline. These run about $14.35. Next up are Holidays, around $15. The Dunhill and Benson and Hedges are next up at $16.60 a pack for 20. The more expensive packs have 25 or 30. The most expensive is Dunhill Blue or Reds at $22.40 a pack for 25. B&H 25 are runner up at $22.20. I only make $13 an hour and most people on Waiheke do not make a lot of money so Cigarettes are a major expense for users.

The best part of selling cigarettes is the pictures on the packs. Cigarettes in New Zealand must have a huge picture that is supposed to discourage their use. Examples include a bleeding brain, infant on a respirator, strange blind eyeball, ect. The purpose of these pictures is to be a deterrent from smoking bit the opposite appears to be the affect. People often want a certain picture on their pack. For example one woman does not like the smoking leads to impotence label which features a cigarette bent over like a limp penis. She prefers the one with a bleeding brain, she claims that it is example of the brain drain on Waiheke during the winter. Some people are so desperate for smokes that they pay half of the pack with small coins and try to pay the rest on their visa card, only to see it declined. This is my fault that the card is declined of course, so I bear the brunt of verbal punishment from the disgruntled customer. I should not be harsh on the cigarette users, after all we make a lot of money selling them and if it was not for the sin bins of gasoline and cigarettes I would be without a job, having to pay for chocolates with small coins and getting upset when my visa card declines.