Toilet Treachery

I had a wonderful X-Mas dinner with friends.  We ate baked ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy and pumpkin pie, American style.  The dinner conversation started with Japanese greetings but migrated to my wardrobe.  Apparently  I have no style and I cannot make up my own style(making shorts out of dockers doesn't count ether). After being humbled I decided to go shopping this morning.  I took a bus to Onehunga a southern neighborhood of Auckland.  I find many stores that are advertising huge after x-mas discounts, but I don't budge.  I end up getting a few shirts from a Chinese corner store for $10 each.  I go back to the bus station. As I am looking down and texting, the bus passes the station and does not stop. Great.  I was supposed to wave the bus down, even if I am sitting at the stop.  Ok, the next bus comes in an hour(refer to the past blog entry). I always need to get exercise so I decided to start walking back to the city center.  I was a good half hour into my walk when I got pegged by an egg projectile coming from a passing car.  It made landing on my arm and slid down onto my shirt.  I am not happy at this point.  I continue walking and see that the local cafe has been victimized as well.  I chat with the diners and share a few laughs.  I continued walking down the street until an amazing structure appears.  This building was a stainless steel sculpture of modern plumbing.  The roof has a post-postmodern cantilevered slant that is more fitting of a design studio.  The old brick building to its right did not give the structure justice. It is a public restroom.  The door opens with the push of a 'non' touch button outlined with green LED's.  I press the button. Once I'm inside I hear a male voice that tells me that all I have to do to shut the door is to push the button inside, also illuminated by green LED's.  I do this, the voice comes on the speaker again.  "Welcome to to Loo, the maxim time of usage is 10 minutes. To flush, press the exit button"  All sort of thoughts ran through my head of what I could do in the restroom in 10 minutes.  Sadly, it did not take 10 minutes to wash the egg off my arm and shirt.  Music starts playing over the speaker, a stirring rendition of Jackie DeShannon's "What the World Needs Now" played by a pops orchestra, sans words. Whoa, romantic.  I hope that there is not a pub nearby.  The sink looks like a brick pizza oven made out of steel.  I put my hands into the structure, not knowing if I will ever get them back.  A laser beam hits my hands, a glob of soap follows.  Cool. I move my hands to the right, another laser beam tracks my knuckles, water rains down.  After scrubbing my hands like my mother always told me, I move my digits further right. A jet engine dryer finishes the job.  Impressive.  I did not use the toilet so I have no reason to flush.  I press the exit button, the toilet flushes anyway.  Waste.  I was expecting a goodbye from the man on the speaker, but was disappointed.  I guess the lack of goodbye makes sense.  I mean if I am in the restroom with a stranger from the pub taking advantage of dear old Jackie's romantic music and my 10 minutes are suddenly up, I may not be polite either.  I would just want to leave as quickly as possible.    I have been told of restrooms like this in Japan, but this is totally random.  The neighborhood around the loo is working class, nothing fancy.  This building is way out of place.  Most of the toilets I have seen in NZ have been of the pit variety.  I still had to walk another 45 minutes back to my house.  I enjoyed my toilet experience so much I may have to justify the 45 minute walk at least twice a week now, as long as I am not holding it for too long.