Pronounced Fung-a-ray

I recently spend four non consecutive weeks working in Whangarei. The pronouncement of the city name for whatever Maori reason is Fung-a-rey. The w is silent. This city is about 2 hours north of Auckland and has a reputation for dodgy as behavior. The best drugs in all of New Zealand are found within the city limits, or so I am told. I worked with 2-3 other people the entire time I was up there.  The boat we were working on is just being built. It has to be bogged, sanded, faired and painted. If you don't know what bogged means, that's ok, we call it bondo in the states. The entire hull of the boat is covered in bondo, then sanded back with long-bords to have a super fair finish. This takes the welding marks out. Work like this is not rocket science, so many co-workers like to smoke and drink every night. This would normally not be problematic, except for the 6 am wake up call. The hotel is in a great location. There is a tinnie house, aka weed house right around the corner, and a couple prostitutes rented the room next door to us to turn tricks. Our crew fits right in to the neighborhood. Maybe the w in Whangarei was smoked too.

I am not complaining about the circumstances, but I can now post this after I was laid off by my employer earlier this week.  Off to the next exciting employment agency.  My mom arrives June 16 for 10 day trip.  Cant wait to see you here mom!

Speed Date NZ

A few weeks ago I went to a speed dating event out of utter boredom.  It was held at a bar called Degree in the Viaduct waterfront of Auckland.  The bar is the kind of place where characters of a Judd Apatow movie would congregate.  Think of a glass pained bar and air that permeated with hairspray.

The event was held upstairs. The cost was $55.  I texted the organizer. I said that $55 was way too much to talk to a few bimbos.  I said I would do it for less money and drink specials.  She settled on $35 and a drink voucher. The organizer looked like she had a few botox injections and her boobs were gorgeously fake. She had the look of gold digging trophy future ex-wife. (I hope she is not reading this, she was actually nice) There was 9 guys and 8 girls. It turns out that all but one of the girls did not pay, the organizer had to scour the streets to fill the girl's seats. Most of the dudes paid $55.  All of us were given cards to write our perceived matches name on.

Sat down to girl number 1.  She looked a little round in the face, then she stood up. Her face looked skinny compared to everything else.  Ok, deep breath.  I will at least let her speak.  She speaks. Words come audible, but the message is clear: she has a cat and rarely leaves the house, except when she goes to work in the library.  That's cool, another girl who is afraid of sunlight.

Girl 2. I need a interpreter.  She is from Japan.  Steel resolve is in her veins. She tells me that I should circle match on all of the girls on my card, that way, she said the girls will circle who they really want as a match.  This woman is a speed date veteran.

Girl 3. Has a bow tie on her head, kind of like a x-mas present. "Are you going to pop out of a box for me"  She does not like this comment.  She ignores me for the next 9 minutes.  I like my chances.

Girl 4. Says she works in television.  I ask her about the internet, she responds by asking me what market share is. I explain what Google is doing to tv advertising. Long awkward pause. She is a bright one. I try to understand how people like this have the skills to even buy a bus ticket, let alone "work in television"

Girl 5. I quote: "I am here with a friend, it was her idea, she needed support."  Her friend was girl number six.

Girl 6. I quote: "I am here with a friend, it was her idea, she needed support."  Her friend was girl number five.  Someone is embarrassed to be here. wonder who it is?

No girl number 7, empty chair, must of got scared and left.  My own thoughts for 10 minutes.

Girl 8. Smoking hot brunette. "Ive never been to karaoke," she stammers.  I suggest to leave at once, I get up, she does not move.  Ok, maybe it was the wrong angle.  Before I try another pickup line, she belts out a Katy Perry song with the worst American accent I have ever heard.   Those 10 minutes seemed to last for days.

Girl 9. Clone of the Shallow Hal girl, but bigger, maybe.  She does not drink, so she gives me her drink voucher.  My $35 cocktail just turned into a $17.50 drink.  If I get one more voucher, I will break even for the night.  She also lectured me about her job at a burger joint and wonders if she is appreciated.  I respond by telling her that if food had feelings, it would be happy for her. She thinks this is funny. I like my really like my chances.

Dead Camera

Easter Weekend Results:

Diving Canterbury wreck
Swimming with dolphins
Lunch on a deserted beach in Cavalli Islands
Diving the Rainbow Warrior wreck
Amazing wall dives
5 girls and one guy in hostel dorm room
Local liquor ban for Good Friday and Easter Sunday
Go to restaurant to buy bread and wine instead of pub to eschew liquor ban
beautiful coastal cruises
German girls taking over hostel
Hot Tub
Flooded camera case on first dive of the weekend: Priceless

Now I have no way to prove that this all happened. 

Easter Week

I have been working in Auckland for 8 weeks, time for a break.  I will be work in Whangarei this week until Thursday, then I will be in Paihia, Bay of Islands for Easter weekend.  I have booked wreck dive trips next Saturday and Sunday out of Paihia, Hopefully I will have pics too.  Have a happy Easter everyone!

100 Gallions of Fuel

In downtown Auckland a flotilla departed that is in opposition of deep sea oil exploration drilling. The New Zealand government approved exploratory drilling last year before the Gulf of Mexico disaster. 200 people attended the sendoff today.  I am guessing that 2/3rds of them were just rubbernecking and not part of the protest.  There was a large Maori group singing and dancing and a half dozen speakers.  The flotilla included about 8 sailing yachts that averaged 60' long.  Each boat has a diesel engine that will probably use at least 100 gallons of diesel just to get to Cape Runaway where the proposed drilling will take place.  I was tempted to ask the participants how much of the junky consumer products that they use have some form of crude oil in them. If the protest in prolonged, the boats will undoubtedly have to re-fuel, maybe they could pull next to the exploration vessel?  The East Cape region of the north island does need some economic development, this could be a start.  Oil is not an answer to sustainable energy, but nether is driving a diesel fueled yacht in circles.

How Many Guns Do You Have?

Have been employed for 3 weeks now by boat labor company.  Most of the days go by with my hands scorched by 150 grit sandpaper as I hand sand the entire sailing vessel Athena with 20 co-workers.  Tradition says that a yacht hull must be hand sanded and not faired by any electrical device.  This helps unemployment.  On my way to work at 7 am every morning I listen to podcasts of This American Life and muse about thelemic inopportunities of past travels.  When I arrive I am in a good mood, until someone asked me "Are you from America? How many guns do you have?" The only answer that I could give the workers satisfaction is something like: "Uh ya, I keep them in my pickup just in case the wild injuns come down from the hills." this is mildly amusing from most of the people who ethnicity are Maori, and Pacific Islanders who listen to rap music from the ghetto blaster and complain  that last night's UFC fight was not hardcore enough.  When people I meet at a party ask me what I do for a job I tell them that I work on super yachts. If they only knew that it is not much different than working in Nebraska for Labor Ready.

Documentary Edge Festival

I decided to stay in Auckland and I found work very quickly.  Monday I applied for my tax id number and set up a bank account, Tuesday I worked for the yacht Yannakee Too, and Wednesday I was hired by Boat Boys, a boat labor contractor.  I am renting a camper van behind a lady's house in the Ponsonby neighborhood for a good price. It is only a 20 minute walk to the boat yards.   Last night my landlady invited me to a showing of I am the River, the award winning documentary on Maori photography.  The documentary won the award for the best New Zealand Feature in the Documentary Edge Festival.  The showing was one of the final showings of the festival and the director, Luigi Cutore was present and fielded questions from the audience after the film.  It turns out that Luigi was friends with my landlady's friend and the 4 of us ended up meeting for a drink after the show.  Luigi is very nice and told me that being a film director is like being a starving artist, sometimes not getting paid for years at a time.  The rest of the conversation was about middle-aged bars, ect, and I was off daydreaming.  Everyone was nice and the night was short.  Its going to be strange settling into a routine for the next few weeks.